The Recruitment 1-11

Both industries sit within competitive and fast-paced environments where high performance equates to high reward. I would like to point out at this stage that I am not comparing the wages of professional footballers with recruiters, but you get my point!

As an experienced procurement recruiter, I’ve worked with all different types of people in my time.

I’ve decided to create my own football team of recruiters based on my experience so far.

I am sure that when you’ll read this, you’ll identify a footballer that you’ve worked with, or had representing you – or maybe one you feel has a resemblance to yourself!

So perhaps next time you are on the receiving end of a terrible sales call or thinking about former colleagues that didn’t quite work out, have a think about where they may fit in my recruitment 1 to 11.

1 – Goalkeeper – Ben Foster

Often described in the office as a “safe pair of hands”.

A dependable individual who rarely makes mistakes.

There’s nothing remarkable about this person, they won’t set the world on fire in the way they recruit, and every now and then they’ll have the odd change in business.

2 – Right Back – Kyle Walker

Explosive and works at a real pace on all tasks within the office, but attention to detail remains to be desired.

People around them have just finished their first call of the day as this recruiter completes their tenth.

One could question the quality of their work, as when it gets to the close to the deal they often fluff their lines.

3 – Left Back – Luke Shaw

Started out with great potential and was brought into the team off the back of some promising results with their previous firm.

With high hopes, this recruiter has sadly flat-lined and can often be found dropping the 7 am excuse text to the boss… often on a Monday.

There is still some hope they can live up to their expectations, but not before another sachet of lemsip gets torn open.

4 – Centre Back – Chris Smalling

“Well, they must be doing something right to work here!” is generally the thought in the office as this Recruiter turns up with one minute to spare, logs in and slowly gets on with their day.

They’re never the highest performer, nor are they the lowest, and often there are some flashes of brilliance that justify their somewhat senior position in the business, but let’s be honest – they wouldn’t be the first pick on the team sheet.

5 – Centre Back – Wes Morgan

This recruiter dwells on the glory days when fax machine CV send-outs and dial-up tones could be heard droning throughout the office.

With a “back in the day, we did it this way!” work mantra, the pace is slow and it’s a struggle to keep up to date with the 21st-century lingo being bounced back and forth within the office.

6 – Left Midfield – Riyad Mahrez

The luxury recruiter of the office.

Has seriously impressive, storming quarters where everything just lands perfectly for them but then all of a sudden – they’ll seem to go missing for months on end.

7 – Central Midfield – Jonjo Shelvey

The office “bad boy”, is often found lingering around the coffee machine or frantically scrolling through their social media feed when the manager’s back is turned.

The first to blame others for their failings in the office and frequently in front of the queue outside the manager’s office.

8 – Central Midfield – N’Golo Kante

The instrumental lynchpin to the team, whose absence is always noticed throughout the entire team on days out with clients.

Constantly supporting others in the office by flagging relevant candidates, introducing clients to the team and opening the doors to delivering the right results.

You simply couldn’t put a price on their head.

9 – Right Midfield – Raheem Sterling

After showing some potential in their previous firm but not quite clicking, they have now really found their feet in the business.

Hard work paying off, they are taking a place at the top table and being given a new market and they are now thriving in the successes. This recruiter can often be heard talking about their own ability – but it is a belief shared by many.

Exciting times are ahead for this recruit!

10 – Centre Forward – Harry Kane

The prolific biller.

This person has grown in stature in the last few years and is constantly at the top of the fee board in the office.

While expectation increases every year, this person continues to overachieve and now the key is to try and keep them.

Modest in their approach, it’s hard not to warm to them and aspire to be just like them.

11 – Centre Forward – Jermain Defoe

The journeyman.

This recruit has carved out a good career in finding a lucrative market and delivering in it, but is often found creeping out of the office for a “personal call”.

Indulges all head hunters within a 100-mile radius and is often updating their LinkedIn profile with a new company logo.

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